How to feed your dog and not kill it too
It amuses me how easily humans can be manipulated. A sad-eyed look, a playful paw or a strategically timed, perfectly executed whine can result in table food, treats – pretty much anything we want. Since humans are so gullible, I feel obligated to lay out the do’s and don’ts of dog-feeding. So pretend this is reality tv and pay attention.
Dog nutrition basics for the not-so-bright
Find the right balance in your dog’s food. Protein is probably the most important nutrient but make sure your dog’s food contains protein that is easy to digest, like chicken or meat. It should also have healthy grains (yes, corn is ok – just not as the main ingredient), fats, and vitamins from fruits and veggies.
Check the label. Believe it or not, advertising can be misleading. Read the label for actual ingredients and make sure they jive with the necessary balance of nutrition.
Don’t over or underfeed your dog. We are always hungry. Dogs can eat a 10-course meal and still beg for more like champions. Follow the basic feeding guidelines based on your dog’s age, size and exercise level and try not to add 1,000 calories a day to it with table food. Because we will never refuse it. And we will get fat.
Don’t feed dogs these things
If you don’t want us to die or get very ill, keep these food items away from us:
Booze. Dogs are complete light weights. We don’t process ethanol like humans so we get drunk quick. Add in beer hops – which can be toxic to us – and you’re pretty much guaranteed a night of cleaning up vomit or a trip to the 24-hour vet clinic. Bottom line – getting your dog drunk is not a good idea.
Chocolate. Dark chocolate is the worst. Don’t feed it to us.
Grapes and raisins. It’s unclear why these can cause kidney damage in a dog but they can. Even small amounts can make us sick or even kill us. So eat them yourself.
Onions and garlic. Yes, we know you put this on almost everything. Just don’t give the leftovers to us, it can cause intestine and kidney problems.
Guacamole. I live in the southwest. Guacamole is everywhere. But even a small amount can be toxic to dogs, so no sampling. It’s also toxic to cats and rodents – do what you will with that information.
Moldy, spoiled foods. Not a good idea. Humans seem to think we have iron stomachs that magically incinerate mold toxins, but that’s simply not the case. It’s ok to throw out your old food. Do that instead.
Snacks we like that won’t kill us
So you can’t resist. We look up at you with those puppy-dog eyes and you cannot physically stop yourself from giving us a treat. Here are some options that won’t kill us or make us convulse:
Safe fruits and veggies: Apples (no seeds), blueberries, strawberries, carrots, popcorn (no butter/salt), lettuce, bananas and squash are some good options commonly found in the cupboard or the fridge. There are more good options but you can research those yourself.
Dog treats. Consider something. Is your dog really begging you for a treat? Or is he begging for the “at-a-boy” accolades that come with the treat? Would your dog be just as happy with a walk or some food-free attention? Food is not necessarily our go-to comfort. Fresh air is often just as good (unless you forgot to feed us, in which case yes – we’re starving).
So there you have it. Everything you need to know to avoid poisoning your dog. You're welcome.